That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
