my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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