TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
