I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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