what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
