Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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