oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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