I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
