She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
