Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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