oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
