so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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