He kissed a someone with a penis
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
