I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
