you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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