C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
