Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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