he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
