Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I need to align my fucking chakras
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
