He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
