I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Farmville is her only friend.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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