Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
