I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i was born a porn star she said
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
