It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
