that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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