"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
