I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
