Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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