I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
