Me too!
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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