Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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