When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
