yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
