I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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