Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
