Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he thought i was a dude.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i dont even know how to be here
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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