I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
