Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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