kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
