shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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