I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
