I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
