I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
