Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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