if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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