Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
