i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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