I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
