I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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