I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
