where am i from again
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
