Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
