When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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